Overheard in the Sacristy

Dario Cardinal Castrillon Hoyos, President of the Pontifical Commission Ecclesia Dei introductory message of the FSSP Traditional Mass training DVD.

“The Holy Father wants this form of the Mass to become a normal one in the parishes, so that in this way young communities may become familiar with this Rite.”

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

1. “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”

2. “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”

3. “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery”

4. “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week”

5. “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day”

6. “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”

7. “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”

8. “I don’t have a tissue with me … just use your sleeve”

9. “Don’t bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve”

. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…

“Just wait until your father gets home.”

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING….

“You are going to get it when we get home!”

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE…

“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC…

“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…

“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR…

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS…

“You’re just like your father.”

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS…

“Do you think you were born in a barn?”

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…

“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE…

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you….Then you’ll see what it’s like!”

I know you love me since you still have that cutting board I made in woodshop when I was 13.

Kansas: Archbishop Bars Governor from Holy Communion

Kansas, May. 9, 2008 (CWNews.com) - Archbishop Joseph Naumann of Kansas City has announced that Governor Kathleen Sebelius should not receive Communion because of her support for legal abortion.

In a column appearing on May 9 in the archdiocesan newspaper, The Leaven, the archbishop said that Governor Sebelius has sent a “spiritually lethal message” by implying that she could remain a Catholic in good standing while supporting abortion on demand.

The archbishop’s column cited in particular the governor’s veto of the Comprehensive Abortion Reform Act, which would have required abortionists to inform women about the effects of the procedure and alternatives to abortion.

The governor’s stand in favor of abortion is particularly painful, Archbishop Naumann wrote, because Sebelius is a Catholic. He reported that he had met with her “several times over many months to discuss with her the grave spiritual and moral consequences of her public actions.” Because the governor has not rejected his pleas and her public stand constitutes a scandal to the faithful, the archbishop said that he has now directed her to refrain from receiving Communion. Archbishop Naumann reported that he has asked Governor Sebelius to accept this directive, so that she will “not require from me any additional pastoral actions.”

The governor will be welcomed back to Communion, the archbishop wrote, if she acknowledges her error, goes to Confession, and makes “a public repudiation of her previous efforts and actions in support of laws and policies sanctioning abortion.”

Vatican Makes Latin-language Documents Available Online

by John Thavis | Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) — .

Without fanfare, the Vatican’s www.vatican.va site has made hundreds of papal and other documents available in a new Latin-language section.

The Latin area went live May 9. Visitors clicking on “Sancta Sedes” (Latin for “Holy See”) are taken to a menu of documents arranged by pontificate or Roman Curia office.

Also posted is the complete neo-Vulgate Latin version of the Bible and Latin editions of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Code of Canon Law and the documents of the Second Vatican Council.

The papal pages — “Summi Pontifices” — cover the last five popes and include encyclicals and other major texts, as well as a selection of speeches, sermons and messages.

The last entry on the Latin pages provides information about “Latinitas,” the Vatican foundation that promotes the use of Latin.

The other languages used by the Vatican Web site are all modern: English, French, German, Italian, Portuguese and Spanish.

In recent years, some Vatican officials have made efforts to revive Latin as the church’s lingua franca, but it’s been an uphill battle. Fewer and fewer seminarians study Latin, and even many Vatican employees now do not know the language.

Latin has been virtually abandoned at major church gatherings like synods of bishops.

But the ancient language continues to be used at international papal liturgies. Last year Pope Benedict XVI expanded the possible use of the Tridentine-rite Mass, which is celebrated in Latin.